Hold up a mirror…
NOONE gets excited or thrilled about taking an honest look at oneself. There’s a saying that we are a reflection of the way we feel. Our behavior will mirror our state of being. When we are happy, we don’t act angry. The simple act of watching oneself throughout the day can greatly accentuate our self-awareness and how other’s experience us.
The question lies in whether you are willing to look at yourself…
I introduce this topic today in response to a call I received recently from a colleague who expressed concerned about another colleague whose behavior had shifted and was presenting as arrogant and dismissive. As a result, they were considering referring to another service provider and wanted to know if I had experienced anything similar with the person.
The irony is that I had already decided to no longer refer to this person’s services as well…for the exact same reason.
A business owner’s responsibility
Many responsibilities come with being a business owner. As with all human beings, entrepreneur’s possess countless characteristics including; excitement, drive, ambition, materialism, passion, arrogance, confidence, structure, disorder, fear, recklessness, optimism, inspiration, along with many others.
Doing a good mental and emotional housekeeping BEFORE starting a business can certainly support the health and well-being of the business. Wouldn’t life be easier if we committed to our betterment as we moved through it instead of accumulating so many unresolved issues that feel impossible to sort through years down the line?
There is a term called EXTERNALIZING which is when we point the finger and blame those things outside of ourselves. It’s understanding that we screw up and it’s our responsibility to own those screw ups and do what we can to resolve them. Being humble and nudging our ego aside is a skill not a task. When is the last time you actually apologized or owned up to something without blaming the other person for the problem at hand?
Learning the power of humility
How the heck do we learn how to be humble? I have met several people in my life who lead with humility. When a humble person is in our presence, there is an immediate sense of comfort and trust. We feel safe and there’s a sense of knowing the person has got our back. We intuitively know their words and behaviors are going to match. We also know they will be kind with us even if they need to deliver feedback that isn’t pleasant to hear.
The opposite of humility is PRIDE. A person who lives and leads with humility will develop raving fans who will market on your behalf which will result in referrals. A person who leads with pride is focused on self and will need to work much harder to develop referrals. Additionally, the referral sources and the referrals may also reflect pride. Remember the mirroring impact described earlier in this article.
We are not born humble or prideful. Upon our deliverance into this world we are an assortment of experiences from generations past including the state or our mother who carried us, the immediate bonding experience that occured at birth, the attention or lack of attention from our parents, through traumatic events that can occur throughout life, etc. Humility is complicated and also necessary if we are going to develop meaningful relationships in our lives. Our relationships will be reflections of us.
If you are not pathological and have a conscience, you can be humble!
10 steps to becoming humble
- Admit to yourself that you need to work on being more humble!
- Identify when you have difficulty being humble and your ego takes over.
- Make a list of your character strengths and stort-comings.
- When you speak with other people, notice your urge to match what the other person says or to “one up” them and don’t share, just listen.
- Identify the strengths of others, not their flaws, be compassionate about who and why they are the way they are.
- Identify ways you can put other’s needs before your own and don’t brag or take credit for doing nice things for others.
- Express your gratitude to others.
- Identify and own your own mistakes and don’t justify or blame others.
- Be open to constructive criticism and seek it from others you trust.
- Continue to look for ways to learn about humility practices.
In Conclusion:
Humility is a powerful trait that benefits us personally and professionally. Like any behavior, it can become a habit when practiced consistently. When we’re willing to be authentic and self-reflective, we begin to see that we don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. True growth often comes from lifting others up rather than elevating ourselves.
If you find that your ego frequently gets in the way, consider working with a professional coach or counselor. Unraveling long-standing patterns takes time, and a trained professional can help you explore the “why” behind your actions and guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling ways of living and relating. Give me a call for a free 15 minute consultation if you are looking for getting started on your journey to enhanced humility: 440-212-4987.